By Emily L
Worship is like a medicine for the soul. Sometimes it tastes good, sometimes we can’t taste it at all, and sometimes it tastes bitter. Even so, we are instructed to worship:
“In everything give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”—1 Thess. 5:18
“Sing to him, sing praises to him; speak of all his wonders!”—1 Chron. 16:9
“You who fear the LORD, praise him!”—Ps. 22:23
“Sing praise to the LORD, you his godly ones;”—Ps. 30:4
“For it is written: ‘ “As I live,” says the LORD, “Every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.” ’ ”—Rom. 14:11
“Through him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips who give thanks to his name.”—Heb. 13:15
“… Is anyone (among you) cheerful? He is to sing praises.”—James 5:13
“ … ‘Give praise to God, all you his bond-servants, you who fear him, the small and the great!’” —Rev. 19:5
It seems impossible at times, to thank God, to give praise to his holy name when we are in pain, in seasons of doubt, or when observing a natural disaster. Sometimes that natural disaster is looking in the mirror at us, wondering how exactly we represent the image of God. Thank God, however, that we have a lifetime to grow in the virtue of praise. Amen for that!
This fall I asked God to help me “clean house” spiritually. I knew that there were areas where I had grown in my relationship with God, but also some “closets” I had boarded up. These represented unanswered questions, doubts and fears. I wanted to be 100 percent surrendered to God, not holding back anything, not loving God with only part of my heart, but all of my heart. God, as is his faithful nature, responded by prying the boards off those “closets” and opening those doors at an unexpected time, causing all the questions, doubts and fears to come tumbling out. With them came anger, sadness, and disappointment. It has been an arduous hike with God during this season. I have even asked, “What is the point of following a God whose ways I don’t like?” (But to whom will we go? He has the words of eternal life….—from John 6:68) He has patiently walked with me through these issues, helping me examine each piece of debris I shoved into those closets. Sometimes he has asked me to let go, to simplify, to return some things to him, and to be at peace with the mystery of his ways. I will never fully understand God or why he orders the universe as he does, and he wants me to come to grips with that. It is a hard truth.
As God has helped me “clean house,” he has also drawn me time and again to Scripture (and testimonies) about worship. Psalm 13: 1-2 states, “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? … How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long?” The psalmist in verses 5 and 6 then provides the antidote to this distress: “But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” The antidote for despair is worship and thanksgiving. Easy? No. But I appreciate the psalmist’s openness and vulnerability, which has given me a sense of safety and license to do the same. In a testimony, a man recently widowed was advised to worship by a friend. It was the last thing he felt like doing. However, some months later he noted that it had helped lift his moods (not immediately, but eventually). He had been a worship leader in his church.
We see this also in Psalm 77: “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God that he may hear me. In the day of trouble I seek the LORD; … my soul refuses to be comforted. I think of God and I moan; I meditate and my spirit faints.” What medicine is prescribed? “I will call to mind the deeds of the LORD; I will remember your wonders of old. …Your way, O God, is holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who works wonders.” The medicine is worship and remembering all of the things God has already done in your life to bless you. This humbles me, because God has answered so many of my prayers in spectacular ways. When I finished my Ph.D., I bought myself a guitar to celebrate (the store was having a one day 50% off sale!), because I wanted to praise God with it for helping me through graduate school. My prayer was that someday I would plug that guitar in and play “electric” with a church worship team. Every time I play at Rez I am living that answered prayer.
So how have these revelations about worship as medicine changed me? Now I am able to look at the debris lying on the floor of these opened closets in my soul less emotionally. I see less of a mess, more order, and fewer items (because I have let some go). There is also a greater sense of smallness in the presence of a mighty God. I feel humbled, convicted about my pride, that God did not plan my life or the world as I think he should have. God is holy; I am not. Worship, though it has been tasteless or bitter oftentimes, has been healing for me. When I worship through playing guitar and singing at church, it ministers to me as much as it ministers to the congregation. I am proclaiming truths that I want to believe 100 percent. As we know from Romans 10:17, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” When we worship, we speak (or sing), we also hear ourselves say these things. God created with words, and we also create when we use words. When we worship, we are speaking out what we want to exist, even if it does not yet exist (i.e. “His praise shall continually be on my lips”). When we praise, we prophesy over ourselves, that we may become that which God created us to be.
