The Peril of Permissive Parenting

In 1 Sam 1:3, Hophni and Phinehas were introduced merely as “Eli’s sons, the priests of the Lord.” They return in 2:12, where a rough translation of the Hebrew text reads, “Now the sons of Eli, the sons of Belial, did not know the LORD.” In the Old Testament, the word “Belial” means worthlessness or nothingness and typically describes an exceptionally wicked person, whose life is notoriously destructive to society. During the inter-testamental period, the word came to be used as another proper name for Satan. Consequently Paul asks, in 2 Cor 6:15, “What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?”

In 1 Sam 2:12, the wickedness of Hophni and Phinehas is so great that they are called “sons of Belial.” Why?

The passage gives us three reasons. First, they stole from God’s people (2:13-14). Instead of accepting the customary portions of the animal sacrifices afforded to them (Deut 18:3), they would fish out the best portions from the family’s stew. Second, they stole from the Lord himself (2:15-17). Instead of doing what the Law required (Ex 29:13) by giving the fatty portions of the animal to the Lord, they would take these portions for themselves as well. Finally, they desecrated the tabernacle by sleeping with the ladies on the altar guild (2:22).

In short, these priests of the Lord (1:3) did not know the Lord (2:12), and their so-called ministry is a major cause of the nation’s impotence. How could this have happened? The narrative points to their father, Eli, as a significant reason for their worthlessness. Indeed, because of his permissive parenting, Eli is equated with Belial in 2:12.

We get a glimpse of the problem in 2:22-25. Eli heard about the wickedness of his sons, and mildly scolded them. Because of his impotent, cowardly parenting, his sons did not hear Eli, and they continued in their wicked ways, undermining the fruitfulness of God’s people. Indeed, their perversion was so great that the Lord determined to destroy them, just as he did in past times with his most wicked enemies (as in the days of Noah, or Pharoah). Nevertheless, Hophni and Phinehas remained culpable for their sins. After all, they were priests of the Lord. At the same time, God was determined to eradicate them, to make way for new leaders who would listen to him and delight in his law. Samuel, of course, was the first such leader; join us on Sunday to hear more.

In Hebrews 12:5-11, we are reminded that discipline, far from being a curse, is actually a blessing from the Lord. In fact, just as fathers show their love for their children by reproving and correcting them, so also God shows his love for us whenever he disciplines us. In contrast, it is the selfish parent who withholds discipline. His or her need for immediate popularity with the children outweighs the higher priority of preparing them for adulthood. Such permissive parenting doesn’t come from God; rather, it’s from Belial.

Back to 1 Samuel. As bad as life was under Eli and Sons, Israel still had yet to hit rock bottom. So the Israelites marched off to war against the iron-rich Philistines (4:1). When 4,000 Israelite soldiers were killed (4:2), the Hebrew elders rightly asked, “Why has the LORD defeated us today before the Philistines?” (4:3) Great question, for just as God was responsible for Hannah’s infertility (1:5,6), God was responsible for Israel’s impotence against the Philistines. Sadly, the Israelites were no better at listening than Hophni and Phinehas–whom they next enlisted to bring them the Ark of the Covenant, to use as a magic talisman in the war (4:4).

When the Philistines heard that the Israelites had the ark, they were terrified (4:7), because they had heard what happened to the Egyptians during the Exodus. They, too, asked a great question: “Who will deliver us from the hand of these mighty gods?” (4:8) Answer: the Lord, who this time (because of Israel’s great sin) was on the side of the Philistines. As they prepared for battle, the Philistines determined to take courage and fight like men (4:9). In so doing, they were a vivid contrast to the milquetoast response of Eli when he heard about his sons’ sexual antics. To this day, the Lord often uses persons outside the covenant community to highlight the sins of his people.

So what happened? The Philistines slaughtered 30,000 Israelites, the ark was captured, and Eli’s sons were killed (4:10-11). When news of the massacre came to Shiloh, Eli was too blind and deaf to hear at first (4:13). But when the messenger finally told Eli personally, he fell off his chair and his neck was broken under his immense weight (4:18). After living the highlife for so long, enjoying the fat portions that his sons stole from the Lord and his people, all that accumulated weight finally came back to crush him. After forty years, Eli, the impotent priest, judge and parent, was finally dethroned.

On her deathbed after the massacre, Eli’s daughter-in-law gave birth to a son (4:20), and his birth is memorialized in 1 Samuel as a way of forever preserving the ambiguity of the moment. A son is born, which is of course a happy occasion, and a sign that the infertility of Israel is finally lifting. On the other hand, she names him “Ichabod,” which when translated asks another great question: “Where is the glory?” Answer: it’s gone. The glory of Eli’s house is gone. And the glory of Israel, namely the throne of the Lord, has gone as well.

Israel, meet rock bottom. It’s quite literally time to come to Jesus.

How about you? As you reflect on this passage today, consider ways in which the Lord may be speaking to you, and whether you have ears to hear what he’s saying. Perhaps there are areas in your life in which you have been particularly impotent. If so, have you had the courage to address them in the Lord? That is, have you given these areas over to him, and asked him to lead you to healing and fruitfulness? Or perhaps are you using God as a talisman to fight your enemies while continuing to do your own thing? Will it take a trip to rock bottom in order to get you to come to Jesus? Take some time to listen to the Lord today, and commit yourself to his Lordship in every area of your life.