Practicing For Life

By Craig

Every Sunday evening we congregate within the walls of our church and we are again reminded of who and what we are: a community of worshipers. For the worship team community has had a bit of a head start however. Singers, sound techs, presentation people, and musicians must gel into a band in less than 2 hours. There’s a lot going on during a rehearsal and only part of it is about the music. Rehearsal for worship is also rehearsal for my everyday walk with Jesus in the world.  Sunday afternoons are not just about practicing music but integrity, grace, and mercy as well.

When someone graces me by opening their wounded soul to share a problem my first question to them is this: Who do you want to be? That was a question always asked of me when I experienced difficulties in relationships. It has taken years to appreciate the nuance attached to this question.  It is so much easier for me to define who I don’t want to be.  Accountability is less of a risk. I can find ways to redefine what my behavior isn’t by degrees – all day long. There is nothing for others to point to if my only set of standards are all in my head.  If I claim a desire to be a person of integrity, mercy, and grace – a Christian – that’s a different story. Now there is a perfect standard for my behavior for all to see: Jesus Christ. When I stake this claim of “follower” He is the standard to which others will hold me accountable. So, how do these things show up during practice?

Being a person of integrity is being a person of commitment. That means showing up on time and investing my energies and my talent within the community regardless of what I think about other people’s methodology, choices, or potential outcomes. We succeed as a team, we fail as a team, and my fortunes are tied to those of my brothers and sisters. The hardest lesson for me to learn has been this: By saying “yes” to something, I am also saying “no” to something else. When I commit with integrity not only do I reinforce other’s vision of myself as a Christian but I am also telling those I commit to that they are important and what we are doing together is important.

If I am leading worship, showing grace means making those serving with me look good first. My desire is to be prepared and encouraging with the end goal of my efforts being worship that is pleasing to God and inspiring to His people, all of His people. Those who stand before and beside me. When my role differs, grace informs a helpful attitude so I might help to shape that leader’s vision to the best of my ability – with a giving, cheerful, submissive spirit. Grace shows up when I set aside my personal agendas.

Mercy is universal in any setting. When conflict occurs it can bring out the best or the worst of anyone. I try hard to remember that every person is much more complex than than how I see them at any given moment. Conflicts arise when our unseen lives – the ones we hide – are forced out into the open. We quarrel because of our fear and pride – to paraphrase James 4. Mercy is the forgiveness that looks past my prideful self and desires to comfort and settle the wounded soul and aching heart of another.

Practicing who I want to be is a constant struggle. I try to rely solely upon Him who made me. My grandfather was fond of saying “Reliance on God should be like exercise: Vigorous and daily.” While I flatter myself as a person of integrity, I am, sadly, still a work in progress when it comes to grace and mercy.  When I fail at these there is, hopefully, reconciliation to fall back on. Reconciliation can be a particularly hard, painful, and – in my case – clumsy work. My scars and bruises are everywhere – and they show. Reconciliation, though, is the key to the chain about my heart. Relationships are important to me, I find it hard to give up on them even when others wish I would – sometimes especially when others wish I would.  This is my blind spot. I feel close to God when I am in the body of believers. I feel close to Christ when I forgive from the heart. But I am painfully reminded of exactly who I am when I need to reconcile with and beg forgiveness of someone I have hurt. I cannot claim to love God and disown, dismiss or discount those He loves. I must make peace as best I can if my desire to follow Him is genuine.

We find the personal God within the body of His believers; within community. To find myself within a community who’s task is to lead God’s people in worship is a delight to my soul. To be within such a community where integrity, grace, and mercy are found is to be a joyous citizen of His Kingdom here on earth. I am His. It is for Him I toil. It is His approval I seek above all others. To this musician, He is my audience.

Leave a Comment